Indie Game: The Movie (2012)

Indie Game: The Movie is a documentary that follows three independent video game makers as they endure the processes of independent game design.  It’s not so much the story of how the games are made, but more of the different experiences each developer has gone through on what appears to be a very, very difficult journey.  The three key players are the Super Meat Boy duo of Edmund McMillen & Tommy Refenes (Team Meat); Phil Fish, creator of Fez; and Jonathan Blow, creator of Braid.

The overall thesis of the movie infers a shift in development thought–creators have an opportunity to express themselves through numerous gameplay mechanics and ideas from under the thumb of some evil publisher.  Game design is very obviously maturing and hopefully one day the platform can evolve into that of a true artform rather than just some cheap ploy to extract money from people.  This drive for self expression is very much needed in the video game world; one must admit all these brown FPSs and sequel cash-ins are starting to feel stale.

The film is very charming as it reveals the passions of young developers who are in pursuit of their wildest dreams.  These are people that don’t want to integrate with some monster corporate giant like Electronic Arts or Microsoft and are taking huge risks to do so.  They aren’t necessarily in it for the money, either–again, game design should be about individuality just as much as it is about vulnerability, and Indie Game showcases this beautifully.  I think anyone who is remotely interested in videogame design or personal expression (you know, drawing and stuff) should give it a look; it’s very moving and very sweet.

A

Independence Day (1996)

The 90’s was a good decade for ‘Merica, no ifs ands or buts about it.  The economy was in full bloom.  We tore down This Wall.  The Persian Gulf had become this rosy memory of American strength and dominance. By and large, the American Dream was expanding across the globe and it seemed like there was nothing that could stand in its way.

Independence Day is basically a movie that addresses this by showing off ‘Merica’s resilience in the face of insurmountable odds.  It begins with a bunch of space ships the size of cities hovering over civilization’s achievements, then blowing them to smithereens.  Its focus is, of course, in ‘Merica, where the powers of Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith combine to form Captain Planet.  It becomes their responsibility–nay, ‘Merica’s responsibility–to beat back this malevolent extra-terrestrial force because goddammit, ‘Merica is the only country smart enough to defeat the truly undefeatable.  Also: don’t fuck with ‘Merica on July 4th weekend.  Seriously.  We’re trying to barbecue.

This movie is like a time-capsule.  Remember when shit was awesome and ‘Merica was perfect?  I do. Back in 1996 ‘Merican arrogance and eccentricity was at an all-time high and this movie blows its wad so explosively that it’s arguable that movie audiences and makers have been trying to rekindle that spark ever since.  Independence Day was a revolution in not only the way we saw explosions on screen, but also as an obnoxious calling card to the rest of the world: “You wanna get shit done?  You call on America.  Only we can get shit done.”

As a movie standing on its own, I’d say it’s okay.  The ensemble cast is fairly 1 dimensional, but diverse enough to make things work.  The visuals are still quite excellent: the wanton destruction of ‘Merica’s most precious buildings looks just as good today as it did back then.  However, the plot is filled with numerous holes that even I can spot and that can be pretty jarring sometimes.  I mean, come on.  It’s pretty stupid that aliens with impenetrable shields and spaceship technology had to coordinate a single large attack; they certainly had the manpower to just fly down and slaughter anything that moved. And that’s just the beginning!

So here’s my request.  Watch Independence Day during your 4th of July barbecue.  It’s a great reminder of how good Americans really had it once. Watch it while holding your wife, your husband, and/or your children for a bonus effect. Or maybe you can use it to drown out the noise of people having fun outside.  Who knows?  Maybe they’ll get wiped out by a bunch of jealous aliens.

B

Sands of the Kalahari (1965)

Sands of the Kalahari is an adventure movie about a bunch of guys and someone’s wife whom all get stranded in a vast desert after a plane crash (stupid locusts).  They are forced to set out and find a food source and water, lest they starve to death because, you know, desert.  Eventually, a bizarre instinct takes over and what has begun as a collective effort to survive and thrive in a very harsh situation becomes more of a contest.

This movie is very strange.  It draws this parallel that these unwitting civilians have become like a baboon tribe. The fittest of the fit gets the girl and becomes the leader, while the rest must vie for the table scraps.  I’m curious as to whether something like this would really happen.

Anyways, the spirit of adventure shines through during this movie.  Each character contributes to the little ad hoc society nicely, and there are some cool little segments where they come up with ideas to locate water and food.  It’s more engaging than I expected but it takes a little bit to ramp up the tension because frankly the characters aren’t all that interesting to start out with.  For better or worse, it’s mostly enjoyable if not a little absurd and plodding in places.

B

Emmanuelle (1974)

Ohhh, look at those raging boners over there…

Emmanuelle is a 70’s sexploitation movie about a wife who is called to meet her husband in Bangkok to learn a lesson or two about “love.” Heh. This film is basically the gold-standard for all those late-night Cinemax sex-movies teenagers try to stay up for after the parents go to bed (well, they used to. Hey!  Stop looking at me like that!). The acting is awful, the photography is awful, the foley mixing is awful, the music is shit, and every scene is void of any emotion or consequence. It’s soft-core during its finest hour, I guess. Also: can you believe the director’s name is “Just Jaeckin”?

I dunno.  Maybe I’m just being too hard on the terrible dubbing they made for the Cinemax version.  It takes me right out of the movie.  Well, that and the unfulfilling, loveless, retarded plot.

D-

Layer Cake (2004)

Layer Cake (2004) is a movie about Daniel Craig, played by a guy, who is a drug runner with a mere few days until his retirement. He receives a request from one of the old school kingpins to find another kingpin’s daughter, a task slightly unusual for just a middleman that moves X pills from one guy to another guy. As drug stories are wont to do, shit gets out of hand real fast.

Every scene in this film is wonderful. Great blocking, great editing, great characters, careful attention to detail… There are about 4 plots that are intricately tied together and plenty more things happening on top of that to keep you guessing and/or pining for resolution. While confusing on a first-watch, you’ll hopefully get a sense that you kind of know what’s going on and the movie compels you to give it another go to see how much you can remember. Also you can sit there and drool over Daniel’s chiseled great abs or Miles O’Brien’s badassitude or the drug gangs’ sterling fashion sense. Look at all these choices!

A

The Girl From the Naked Eye (2012)

The Girl From the Naked Eye is a film-noir-kind-of-kung-fu movie about a guy who works for a pretty seedy outfit called The Naked Eye.  It’s a brothel or a night club or something.  I know how you all like brothels.

It kicks off with an unsolved mystery: some girl is found dead in her apartment.  The guy, an expert Tekken streetfighter and also her personal bodyguard, resolves to uncover the truth about her murder whilst using his fisticuffs to murder the shit out of most of the club’s staff until the answer is found.  I feel kind of sorry for those guys; they’re just trying to make their way in this topsy-turvy world.  Who does this asshole think he is?  Some kind of Liu Kang or something?

[This is the part where my brain tries to rationalize what I’m feeling.]

Anyways, the film is mostly forgettable and definitely feels like a baby’s first Bruce Lee movie.  The characters aren’t all that interesting and I felt a nagging disconnection from Jake’s (the lead) situation.  The fight choreography felt manufactured and boring.  Also, the actors looked like they were just practicing their roles for some other movie.  Having said that,I think it’s a decent effort for what it is that could lead to something great for these filmmakers and I really hope they succeed.  With a little more passion, I think they will.

C+

Vampire Hunter D (1985)

Vampire Hunter D is a Japanimation (anime) film set in the super-distant future, where the world is or isn’t sometimes a wasteland and motion is reduced to about 10 frames per second.  In this fairly well-realized world we see vampires, werewolves, and mutants terrorize neo-Victorian villages regularly.  People who are ‘bitten’ are ostracized from society unless they join the ranks of the vampire noble elite through marriage or servitude… or both.

This is a movie about D, a half-human, half-vampire hybrid warrior with an extra face on his hand.  He is given the task of killing a super old, super powerful vampire MegaBoss for a girl in a village who was bitten recently and doesn’t want to be a totally awesome vampire noble.  A lot of the movie is spent exploring this world and describing through some pretty nice visuals how things work in this distant apocalyptic future.  I liked the Victorian aesthetic. It meshes well with this style of animation.  I’m also a fanboy of Yoshitaka Amano, the character designer for D, and have no real complaints regarding that aspect.

They try their best to make D one super badass mofo while also going to great lengths to show that he sometimes has difficulty surmounting his problems.  This film takes the lazy route concluding these scenarios by conveniently having him have some kind of flash of brilliance that relieves tension a little too quickly.  What ends up playing out is some kind of DBZ knock-off (or inspiration?) where the situation is instantaneously resolved by lobbing off a head, an arm, or any other sliceable body part. I guess what I wanted was D having to think very critically about solving his problems instead of immediately knowing the answers or just brute forcing his way through.

C+

Man Bites Dog (1993)

Also known as It Happened In Your Neighborhood, Man Bites Dog is a French mockumentary that explores the art of documentary film-making.  Sort of.

This is a film that follows a very charismatic serial killer around a city.  He jokes with the crew, he bitches about nondescript things, and for the most part he’s pretty much just a normal, classy dude except for that whole ‘killing innocent people and taking their money’ part.  As the plot progresses, the film-makers start to take part in the killings and even aid the, um, protagonist, with the disposal of the victims’ bodies.  Stockholm Syndrome at its finest!

This movie is remarkable because of three things.  1) It was shot on a shoe-string budget [which means it cost very little money because the producers were broke as shit].  2) In 1993 one would’ve never expected that reality TV could get this absurd; this was practically unheard of at the time.  3) Man Bites Dog is incredibly violent.  I guess a movie that follows a serial killer goes without saying in THAT department.  Some of the more outlandish scenes still give me chills.  Don’t let your kids watch this one, folks!

A

Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

Lesbian Vampire Killers is a film about two English schlubs who take a holiday to an obscure English village where the locals live in constant fear.  Lacking in pounds and quid, they are sent to a creepy funhouse in the middle of some creepy woods where they meet up with a bunch of ditzy hot chicks who are investigating the local folklore.  They all become unwitting participants in an ancient ritual where ditzy hot chicks are commonly offered as sacrifices to prevent the rise of the one, the only, the ultimate, Lesbian Vampire Queen.

This movie is a lot of fun.  It never takes itself seriously, it makes fun of pretty much every established vampire convention, and everyone just looks like they’re having a good time making a movie.  There’s nothing grand or spectacular about the performances or the set pieces or even the story.  However, I humbly submit to you this:  a movie about lesbian vampires can in no way be a serious endeavor.  The filmmakers seem to respect or at least acknowledge this and to me they really do a good job keepin’ it cheeky.  If you want to turn your brain off for 90 minutes and have a healthy dose of fun, Lesbian Vampire Killers won’t steer you wrong.

B+

Billy Madison (1995)

Billy Madison is a movie about a rich guy who is functionally retarded and supposed heir of the incredibly successful Madison Hotels.  His dad is looking to retire, but doesn’t feel the company is in good hands with his inept son at the wheel.  When he decides to let Billy’s lifelong rival take the helm, Billy quickly develops a plan that would see Billy rightfully getting Madison Hotels if he can successfully retake classes from elementary and high school over something like 8 weeks.

This movie is generally regarded as Adam Sandler’s best [that he wrote/produced].  I believe it was also the first.  It certainly follows his SNL dynamic where he comes up with a character that is wildly immature, does a lot of silly things, and doesn’t really develop any sophistication.  It’s a good idea once.  This is why Billy Madison succeeds where his later efforts simply failed.

The best parts of this movie were the classroom segments.  It seems actually kind of interesting to be an adult going through the education system, where those systems are largely unchanged in spite the presence of one.  The kids were pretty good, the atmosphere was light-hearted and really helped camouflage the Madison character’s patheticness.  This is a good movie to have on in the background while you’re out golfing.

B