Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2001)

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust is the long awaited sequel to the original Vampire Hunter D that was released in 1985.  It continues the adventures of the half-human, half-vampire, erm, vampire hunter D.  D is called upon to save the day by the father of a girl who was kidnapped by a vampire nobleman.  This time, though, he has some worthy competition that can be found in the bounty hunter troupe known as the Marcus Brothers and some considerably powerful new enemies in a mutant tribe who call themselves the Barbarois.  D must race against the Marcus Brothers to retrieve the girl before she is ‘changed’ into a vampire so he may collect a sizable reward and rid the world of yet another vampire menace.

As sequels go, this film is much, much better than the original.  The art direction has vastly improved: visually, the post-apocalyptic Victorian landscape is stark and detailed.  The voice-acting is also top notch with heavy hitters like John DiMaggio and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn (two of my faves).  Also, D actually looks and sounds every part the badass hero!  He’s so cool, calm, and collected; one of the many thorough improvements to every aspect of this series.

The better production values really shine through in this movie.  Better facial animations enable D to show broader emotions and rare moments of weakness that resonate in ways the first movie could barely scrape together.  Additionally, by giving him a supporting cast of the Marcus Brothers, this crapsack world actually has some depth and resonance along with being amazing visually.  Overall, the enormous strides in plot fluidity and character dynamics help keep everything on the rails; the end result is that we know what the fuck is happening and they didn’t even have to spell anything out for us this time.

So a question you might have is this: “Do I need to watch the first movie to enjoy the second?”  The answer is simply “No.”  Very little continuity is addressed here and what questions may have popped up in the first movie are actually asked again in this one.  The writers understood that nearly 20 years of time between films can do a lot of damage to one’s memories of a franchise, but they resolve everything simply and subtly.  This is how sequels should be done.

A

Fun and Fancy Free (1947)

Fun and Fancy Free is not so much a movie as it is a sort of exhibition, the sort made by Disney’s B-Team.  It’s a feature-length cartoon divided into two distinct parts: one where a circus bear escapes captivity to pursue his roots in the natural wilderness and another where Mickey Mouse & friends go on an adventure based on the Jack and the Beanstalk fairy tale.  There is also an intermission where the studio again tries to intersperse a live action element where the creep factor is turned up to 11.

There isn’t a whole lot of praise that can be dumped on this film.  It feels a lot more efficient than previous Disney endeavors of the time–the animation is hokey and the two stories are fairly simplistic.  I think Disney has wholeheartedly embraced the cartoons-are-for-kids motif at this point: the first teaches us how cuddly bears fall in love in addition to dealing with jealous alpha males, while the second is a David & Goliath type of story (as was Beanstalk) that shows us we can overcome just about anything larger than ourselves with wit, gumption, and bravado.

However there is a positive thing I can say about this movie: that “Disney Magic” is out in full force.  I’m talking about that angelic and whimsical chorus of ladies singing whimsically through a tin can as our heroes deal with their problems.  The whole first half is nothing but a musical in this vein and it is very pleasant.  It actually reminds me of my childhood due to having seen many of these older Disney films when I was just a little guy.  Whimsical notes are carried by whimsical visuals, and it is almost hypnotic in its execution.

I think your kids will like this movie, but in today’s world they might also get bored.  These types of cartoons just aren’t as engaging as they were in the past.  The bigger problem I see with this one is the live action segment–there’s this sequence where this guy is entertaining his daughter or something at a birthday party.  It’s just him, her, and three ventriloquist dummies that all talk out of turn.  The creep factor rises when it’s revealed that these dummies don’t require the ventriloquist to be attached in order to talk and behave.  The little girl enjoys this, but I really think that whole set is haunted.

C+

Tombstone (1993)

Tombstone is a period piece set in the town of the same name in Ancient Arizona.  A guy named Wyatt Earp and his two bros have hung up their hats, their cowboy police hats, and have settled down to gamble away their life savings.  Being the Wild West and all, there isn’t a whole lot of peace to be had in this town, especially when a ruthless gang of rustlers decides to terrorize the town.  As the violence against the town and its people escalate, the trio are persuaded to come out of retirement and restore order along with good ol’ standby Doc Holliday.

This film is great!  I liked the set pieces and the overall look of everything.  The first-billed quartet of Kurt Russell, Sam Elliott, Val Kilmer, and Bill Paxton fill out their period clothing well and they blend in nicely with the rest of the scenery.  There wasn’t a point where I went ‘oh, that’s Val Kilmer’ and have it take me out of the movie, although Kurt Russell almost did a few times–he just seems like a really nice guy, you know?  I also forgot how much I was in love with Dana Delaney–hey, call me, babe! :-*  A must-see if you like movies of the Western persuasion.

A

Dogma (1999)

Dogma is a story about the ongoing battle between good and evil.  Kind of.  When the good Cardinal George Carlin announces the Catholic Church’s new Catholicism WOW campaign, two exiled angels are discreetly informed of a loophole in Catholic doctrine that would enable them to cleanse all of their sins and return home to heaven.  However, since God cast them out directly for their previous transgressions, doing so would go against God’s infallibility and thus all existence would be negated forever.  The Last Scion is called upon to address this in God’s mysterious absence, a dogmatically disenfranchised Planned Parenthood employee by the name of Bethany.  The clock is ticking as she makes her way to New Jersey to prevent the ultimate disaster brought forth by the two angels’ plans.

The beginning of the movie has a few disclaimers pleading with a sensitive audience to not hate this movie because of its seemingly antireligious rhetoric.  To be honest, I thought the message of ultimate religious tolerance was fairly clear.  In today’s world, faith and the lack thereof could be seen as a major problem and I think Dogma’s approach is mostly objective.  I guess I don’t see the problem–I mean, there is lots of blood and violence on the footsteps of a cathedral but hey, God Itself swoops in and cleans up the mess all while looking around at the destruction in what could best be described as quirky disappointment.  It’s a message I agree with–we are all part of God’s creation and He is likely disappointed in us, no matter what cloth we are cut from.

I don’t think Dogma will make you examine your faith any more than before you watched it.  Instead it will let you turn a more satirical eye to the absurdities of the modern church bureaucracy and hopefully make you laugh a little bit about how ridiculous some of this shit is.  It’s okay to have faith in a higher power, but getting too extreme with your ideals can make you an asshole.

Anyway, I thought the movie was pretty good.  Ben Affleck was subdued as the leading man and we got to see Matt Damon a little more.  Plus, there are some fan favorites in Chris Rock and Alan Rickman that come along and chew the scenery.  Those were good casting choices.  The plot isn’t nonsensical, and there is a considerably lower dose of melodrama that was the basis for Chasing Amy.  Dogma is just fine.

B+

Chasing Amy (1999)

I generally have a difficult time rating a movie if I see the main character morph into a prick.  It’s not something I see that often so it certainly stands out and it’s kind of a trope I like.  Movies like this rely heavily on their leads having the ability to lead well both through writing and the actual performing.  A perfect job renders everything transparent, and so it begins where I wonder if the lead has always been a prick from the start.  Does he make a change at the end?  Does he learn his lesson?  Is he likable enough for me to give a crap?  These things are important to me because in the end my reviews are based on how I feel after the movie is over.

Chasing Amy is a movie that has put me into this line of thinking.  It’s about two asshole comicbook maker guys: one is a major homophobe while the other is a super conservative and inexperienced douchenozzle. One day at the club they encounter a slinky and charming lesbian.  The douche falls for her almost immediately and they end up in a rocky and short-lived relationship that culminates in his questioning of her shady and mysterious past that basically paints her as a whore.  It’s not a very funny movie in spite of taking place in Kevin Smith’s View Askew universe where Jay & Silent Bob hail from.

Instead, this movie makes a push as the oscar bait.  It’s full of thoughts and feelings and melodrama and homophobic slurs and two of the biggest asshole characters I’ve seen in a while.  The thing is, no one mentioned to Kevin Smith that Ben Affleck sucks at carrying a movie (as the leading man, not the director–I heard he’s quite good at that).  It has some good writing and dialogue that just gets pissed down the drain due to Affleck’s staggering starchiness.  Maybe that’s what Kevin wanted when making this movie: it has a respectable level of discomfort but I think Damon or even Lee would’ve made a much better lead.

Also: Ben’s hair looks face-punchingly stupid.

B-

All About Eve (1950)

All About Eve is a theater meta-movie told primarily in a flashback format of the title character Eve’s rise to stardom on the Broadway scene.  Over the course of a year Eve, a fanatically devoted fan of aging Broadway veteran Margo Channing, insinuates herself further into Margo’s personal life and affairs.  Expressing herself as devoted to the art of the stage, she does as much as she can to learn about Margo’s performances and lifestyle.  Things come to a head when Margo begins to sniff out her real motivations as the threat to her career becomes clearer.

I like movies about good ol’ fashioned manipulation and scheming.  At first it’s pretty easy to call out Eve, what with her ostensible and smothering niceties and all.  As the audience, we know something is a little off with her approach and one of the goals of a film like this is to convince us that a genuine sociopath is doomed to fail; it’s like becoming a witness to the scene of a crime.  All About Eve convinces us to buy into this premise with hook, line, and sinker.  At the same time, it provides some pretty scathing commentary that could probably be applied even to our modern starlets who may not always be who we think they are.

I’d like to think that we could be smart enough to know if someone isn’t really meant to be there.  Additionally, I cheer at the idea of someone being able to come in right off the street in order to ‘beat the system.’  Surely, we all have it in us to rise to such greatness.  This is a movie with drama and depth.  Don’t let its age fool you; it’s definitely one for the ages.

A

9 (2009)

9 tells the story of a tiny automaton who awakens in a post-apocalyptic landscape where robots have killed all the humans.  Through a series of chance events, he encounters other automatons just like him. Wanting to know more about what caused all this chaos, he convinces a few to venture out of hiding to discover the truth of his creation and humanity’s ultimate demise.

This is a neat little film with some neat little visuals and some neat little characters.  I don’t really care for the post-apocalyptica and the brownness of everything, but the storyboard is executed well enough.  The supporting cast gives enough oomph to make my love/hate brain receptors fire up and there are some fine little details sprinkled throughout that keep things interesting.  The movie plays things safe and efficient when it comes to the plot, and at 79 or so minutes, everything is packed together nicely. 9 is a basic adventure that is eager to entertain.  I find that kind of simplicity pretty charming.

B+

My Girl (1991)

My Girl is a family comedy about a girl who is a neurotic, compulsive liar.  The year is 1972 and she lives in a funeral home with her dad, her mum having passed right around the time she was born.  Governed by a maternal guilt complex, she treats her one and only friend Thomas J. like crap while pining for the love of her teacher.  Over the course of the summer, her dad meets Jamie Lee Curtis and the two of them really hit it off.  Naturally, she despises Ms. Curtis and she grows ever more distant, almost to the point of lashing out.  So funny!

What’s remarkable about this film is that it gets away with things you probably don’t see anymore.  There is a particular sequence where the girl joins a “creative writing” class so she can further lust after her teacher.  During that scene there is a weird love-triangle thing going on and she watches the teacher squirm as another, older, hotter hippie chick recite a dirty, dirty poem whilst basically touching herself.  Luckily, things don’t go much further than that; it was probably thrown in to pepper the story with some adult humor so your dad has something to look at.

Overall, it’s a decent movie.  It deals with death and loss on a level that kids may not understand completely when they are that age.  While not completely mind blowing, it’s still a powerful theme that I think resonates with that whole ‘cherish every moment’ cliche pretty well.  Just make sure they’re ready for the waterworks.

B

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

The Dark Knight Rises (or The Dark Knight II: Gothic Boogaloo) is the final volume of the epic Batman Reboot Saga directed by Christopher Nolan.  Eight years have passed since the events of The Dark Knight I.  Bruce Wayne is a crippled shut-in for some reason, lamenting the loss of his one true love Rachel Dawes.  Gotham’s streets have been swept up in a fury of justice thanks to the Harvey Dent Act–a law that basically allows cops to throw criminals in jail for whatever. The Goddamn Batman is a fugitive no one has seen in years, having taken the fall for the loss of Harvey Dent, his vigilante modus operandi no longer viable in a post-Two-Face world. As a result of all of this, Gotham has found itself in the midst of a Golden Age where no crime happens whatsoever and there’s no bad guy waiting in the wings to destroy it for any reason.  The end.

B+