Directed by: Jon Amiel
Written by: Cooper Layne, John Rogers
Starring: Hilary Swank, Aaron Eckhart, Stanley Tucci, D.J. Qualls
I wonder how stressful it is to be a screenwriter. Day in, day out, endlessly shopping your shitty script from studio to studio, agency to agency, homeless guy to homeless guy. All so you can afford that next tin of cat food that screams romance and stability because you eat it at night and by candlelight. It’s a daily struggle I’m sure.
It’s all good, man. Because you have an idea, an idea so goddamn awesome that its very power can change the world. Now if only you can find someone to understand its significance. Someone who will call you and pay a shitzillion dollars for it. It’s not about the money, though, even if it helps. Cat food is pretty gross. Unless you’re eating a duck. Duck is pretty good.
So someone approaches you with an offer you can’t refuse. They’ll pay… a marginal amount for the screenplay, say 60 dollars. Enough to get through the weekend with some grapes or something. So when they come back with changes to make to your beautiful beautiful script, where everything needs to be changed, what do you do? Do you compromise your integrity so you can put food on the table? Or do you stick to your principles and say ‘no way, no how.’
And if the movie flops terribly, who falls on the sword? Certainly not the actors, one of whom might have an Oscar or two under her belt (this is called a ‘get’). Certainly not the CGI people, they’re just doing what they’re told. And certainly not the director or the foley guys or the cinematographer or even the caterers. The accolades for producing a terrible piece of shit do not go to the producer, the stunt doubles, the scientific consultants brought in to talk about the science stuff, or the set designer. No, it’s the humble screenwriter who commits career seppuku. He and he alone is responsible for the abysmal shitshow that is The Core. And so nothing of value is lost when he is flushed out of his loft at an animal shelter and run out of town, never to be seen or heard again.
ThomFiles 